There's something about the waning weeks of summer that results in an unusual mix of depression and excitement. The thought of going back to work, especially so early in the morning, combined with the plethora of folders, papers to sign, notebooks to buy and other baggage that comes with two children also starting school at the same time, makes me think that perhaps that bottle of Corona in the fridge might be just what I need. However, hearing from colleagues, seeing the kids check the mailbox everyday to see if their schedules have arrived, the welcome back letter from school that I always wrinkle my nose up and groan about, but then read over and over - illustrates that this is certainly a time of year with a lot of mixed emotions.
My son will be in 10th grade and unfortunately for him, goes to the same school I work at. I know his friends, I have them in my classes, I know their older brothers and sisters, and his teachers....there is no end to the misery my poor son must go though knowing that even at school - there is no escape from the ominous Mommy! I try to stay out of it, after all my mother didn't watch everything I did in high school, (thank God for that), and I try to follow his lead. Mommy is no good to say hi to in hallway, but very good to borrow money from before lunch or afterschool for drink from vending machine. In 7th grade he once got up in front of his class to hug me on his birthday, and when his friends laughed he turned to them and said "What? I love my Mommy!" to which the entire class started yelling "We love our Mommy's too!" It was a great day - probably the last day something like that happened.
My daughter is a different story. So far, and of course this could change on a dime, I'm the BEST! I'm someone to go to for advice, kiss and hug hello and goodbye everyday even in front of an entire class of 12th graders who refer to her as "Baby Korpics"...I'm right up there with Hannah Montana and maybe even the Jonas Brothers. I don't think I'm as high up there as that dude from Twilight, (after the movie she turned to me and said "Mommy, that man is a work of art!"...was it wrong for me to agree?)
She will be starting 7th grade...will it end? Will I become the enemy soon? Who knows...either way it's normal for some disconnection to occur at this stage in order for them to find out who they are outside of their comfort zone. I think back to how I was with my own Mom, and pretty much I was connected to her hip, and would have stayed there had she not married the anti-christ when I was 12. After he was gone though, it went right back to where it was so many years ago except now I was 40, she was 61...and she was dying. She was still the BEST to me, I hung on her every word, took all of her advice and asked her thoughts on everything I could for as long as I could. So - maybe there's hope. Maybe my daughter will be my little girl forever just like I was for my Mom...and would still be today if I was lucky enough to have her here.
photo take by Felicia Hodges Publisher Tri-County WOMAN magazine. 2009
